Monday, September 14, 2009

I'm going straight to heaven.

No, really, I'm not "passing go", not stopping to "collect $200", just straight to heaven.

1) I accompanied my mother to a Red Hat charity luncheon over the weekend. You know the "Red Hats", they're women over 50 who wear purple with red hats (if you don't know-Google is your friend). The things you find out about your mother when she's with her friends...I tell you. First, they think she's a hoot! They have no idea that my sister and I occasionally discuss where we'd hide the body. Second, she ALWAYS "forgets" her red hat. She has, at least, half a dozen, but apparently never wears any because she doesn't want to mess her hair. It was educational in so many ways.

Because she is on a fixed income and we weren't there for her recent birthday, hubby and I wanted to pay for the tickets, the majority of which goes to Ruth's Place, an agency for homeless women, a fine, but tiny charity. I knew there would be a brawl if I tried to give her money outright. So I left the cash, with a note, in an envelope on the dresser in the bedroom where we stayed. Sure enough, first thing this morning, I got an angry phone call asking why we did such a terrible thing. Ummm...maybe because we're working, we like to give to worthy causes, and treating ones family is hardly a hardship. Sheesh....Mom, just say thanks!! 'K? I have now fielded no less then 3 phone calls in 30 minutes about this, while I'm trying to work out a presentation with a colleague that we have to deliver on Friday. (See what I mean about hiding the body?)

I don't usually shill for charities, but if the spirit moves you Ruth's Place (that's Ruth from the bible by the way), is in great need. And while we're on the subject, there is also The House Of Care a tiny non-profit here in State College. They take care of individuals at the end of their lives and run on a shoestring. My director is the president of the board this year, and not only does he run the operations and finances, he mows the lawn. That's how small this operation is. I have a soft spot for those people who see a need and just do something. They don't have the weight of grants or the United Way, or whatever behind them. They just do SOEMTHING. OK, those are my PSAs for the month. Back to regular programming....

Anyway, the Red Hats raffled off donated gift baskets, had a speaker (who was too long, though interesting), and singing nuns....yes, the singing nuns from the Sisters of Mercy. The only one wearing a habit, also wore blue satin bloomers trimmed in lace under her habit. (Yea, ask how we all saw the nun's bloomers.) One of the other sisters looked like she was wearing hand knit socks....but, I never got a chance to ask her.

2) I would appreciate good thoughts, prayers, burning sage, etc. whatever is your habit (no nun pun intended) for this lady...My MIL fell and broke her hip (what else?) over the weekend. As of today, surgery was successful, we are hoping that the post surgical recovery is uneventful, and have our collective fingers crossed for successful rehab. To say the family is a tad worried, considering her age, doesn't quite describe it. Broken hips are very dangerous at this stage of life, and can really change the dynamic of how an elderly person lives. My sister, Nurse Rachet, however, was quite optimistic. She calls my MIL feisty, and if anyone can bounce back she can. I'm hoping she is right.

3) While fielding angry mother phone calls, updates on my MIL (because the sons never get those calls do they?), I'm getting worried emails from my sister who is leaving for vacation, and has a sitter watching her cats. She is worried about her cats. Shall I retype that? She is worried that her cats will be lonely. I told her to worry that they'll poop in her shoes from pique! One will spend the entire time hiding, the other will hardly know she's gone. I have also been given the task of not putting them in a shelter "if something should happen". I told her I'd sell them to a circus. Dementia would make a great lion (maybe not tame-able), and Velcro has a future as a clown. No problem. can open those pearly gates now!!


Chrisknits said...

You do deserve to go to Heaven. Just hold a place for me when you get there. I am yet to be at the place you are with the mothers, and my sister is catless, so no problems there. But I do have a brother and SIL who have about 8 cats and 1 dog. But they never worry about them while gone, their neighbors get pet duty.

Kaye said...

Ok, the cat deal sealed it for you! Ha ha!

kemtee said...

Remind me to send you a giant bottle of some sort of adult beverage. I can't help you with the St. Peter Brownie Point List, but I can help soothe nerves in this lifetime.